AI-powered pet slander
Your pet has thoughts.
None are nice.
Turn one pet photo into a brutally specific AI roast or a wildly dramatic psychic reading. Their face. Their fictional inner monologue. Your questionable life choices.
First roast free. Watermark included. Ego protection not included.
“You bought me an orthopedic bed. You sleep on a mattress on the floor. Let’s discuss priorities.”
Small promises. Big attitude.
The roast pipeline
One photo.
A whole attitude.
Not just “good boy” with a punchline. Vision AI looks for the little details that make your pet’s roast feel personal.
Prefer cosmic chaos?
The cards say: more treats.
Tarot-style readings and Daily Pet Horoscopes bring the drama. For entertainment, not veterinary guidance.
Supply the evidence.
Upload a pet photo. The side-eye, the shredded toy, the chaos in the background—it all gives the AI something to work with.
Choose your emotional damage.
Toxic Ex. Disappointed Dad. Mafia Boss. Pick a personality for a custom inner monologue, or go mystical with a dramatic tarot-style reading.
Make the group chat worse.
Get a shareable roast card. Unlock the voiceover, pair it with your pet’s blank stare, and take the bit to TikTok or IG Stories.
Cheap laughs. Premium shade.
Try the roast. Keep the receipts.
Start with a free watermarked card. Pay for the extras only when you want them.
First roast
Your first AI roast card, with a watermark.
Free
Full roast unlock
Full voiceover audio + an unwatermarked HD card.
$2.99 / unlock
Daily Pet Horoscope
A daily dose of cosmic pet drama.
$4.99 / month
Free
For individuals getting started
$0/month
- 1 workspace
- Up to 3 team members
- Basic analytics
- Community support
The stare was never innocent.
Give that side-eye a voice.
You already have 400 photos of them. Put one to work.
Get my first free roast